haze
11:15 - crush
11:17 - snort
11:21 - beginning to have difficulties w/ vision; it’s blurred, slow and lagging
- it’s hard to describe how i’m feeling b/c it is connected with hallucinations
- the goddamm fucking tab button won’t work and it’s making me angry and paranoid
- so i’m going to continue writing over here.
- those were angry statements, where the voice raises at the end hence the period mark.
- in my head right now an older gentleman dressed in a suit tux is narrating my everythought!
- it’s exhilarating because my thoughts and ideas now have so much power due to the voice of this old, nasally (yet in a good way that deems his voice dark, deep, musky and sultry) BUT! he’s a man of 65 years so he is in no way a womanizing prick. he’s a kind gentlemanly old man, who has come to take care of me. to watch over me.
11:27 - time went by fast, i think i had a minor delusion, it’s weird because i can snap back to reality and look around see my normal things.
should i — another?
11:29 - checked my email, i can here voices through the text/ or is my brain reading them? i can imagine josephine sitting there are her computer in brooklyn. its a small apartment but it will do . she has furnishings decorating the light yellow walls. the floor is wooden, but old wood. wood that creaks when you walk and jump , and its covered in age and human touch. it’s a beautiful thing / a beautiful concept for something to go so old with use and purpose. that creates balance and harmony and all that is good. cancer nexes the unfit, and the malnourished are nexed with famine and earthy delights (just as Bosch would say, of his garden of earthly delights)
11:34 - i can’t tell if i’m enjoying the illusions, because i wish they were realler, real enough so that i can grasp them and live in them.
i think i’m going to take another pill, but this time swallow it
the bones and tendons in my hand feel like barbie’s arms and legs.
i’m waiting for somebody to catch me,
__________________________________________________dunno where that was going…
anyway
11:50 - ingest 2nd
i think this will take longer to kick in considering i swallowed it, my nose is just burning now
